Results matching “rants”

As you all know, I've had brushes with the law before.  Today I was in the police station to get fingerprinted.  You see, work has been requiring us new hires to fill out this position of trust paperwork.  There is some humor in this because I already have an active security clearance.  However, a position of trust is less than the lowest security clearance -- it is a glorified background check.  Essentially, you fill out this paperwork, and if everything checks out, you are deemed a "trustworthy person".   I've had these forms filled out for quite a while, but I also needed to get fingerprinted.

So I finally walk the .1 miles to the police station and get my fingerprinting groove on.  While we're doing this, I'm fine -- just fascinated with the process.  Then, in walks an older gentleman wearing a suit of some kind, carrying papers.  Now this is significant because in my town, people wear suits during funerals and weddings.  Sometimes you get a salesperson/pollster rolling into town wearing a suit, but this person did not look like a salesperson.  The police chief seemed to know who he was, and my guess is something along the lines of township/county elected official.  Anyways, he looked over at me waiting for the chief to fill out my form, and suddenly I had a minor dose of paranoia.

It's kind of like back in high-school when you're waiting in the principal's office and other kids/teachers keep glancing in at you.  You know they're wondering what you did wrong.  Even if you're just there for something benign, like fundraising, you're guilty by location.  In this case, I'm in the police station getting fingerprinted, and this "township official" is in there wondering what I've done wrong. Furthermore, I'm giving/spelling my full name out loud so he'll remember my name down the road.

Don't get me wrong -- I'm sure the fact of the chief handing me my fingerprint card and me walking out of there saying "thank you" reversed any impressions of wrongdoing, plus I'll probably never see this person again in my life, but the mind does play its funny tricks on you.

On another, unrelated notes, I've updated the website, got the links to the pictures working again, and things should be more "in order".  I still don't know why a lot of my older posts have these weird characters in them (such as apostrophes being replaced by foreign letters), and the only solution at this point seems to be to go back and edit all of them by hand, so it is what it is for now.  Also, I don't like the colors of the photo gallery links on the right -- kind of a greyish text on a black background.  I'll find the fix later.  Otherwise, let me know what you think.

I've been noticing computer generated poetry in spam for a while now, but this one really inspired me. It almost seems like ancient proverbs that got a bit muddled in the translation. "It takes a real fruitcake to avoid contact with the scythe." and this interesting one: "If a girl scoutgraduates from the pickup truck, then some mysterious cargo bay gets stinking drunk."  (We've come a long way from when I first noticed spam poetry.

If the minivan about a pine cone usually competes with a mortician over the

support group, then a skyscraper hides. Any sandwich can accurately sanitize an

imaginative deficit, but it takes a real fruit cake to avoid contact with the

scythe. The cab driver for an industrial complex ostensibly is a big fan of a

grain of sand. A hockey player seeks a steam engine. Now and then, an asteroid

near a paper napkin pees on the boiled warranty.


Now and then, a pork chop eagerly shares a shower with the tuba player living

with a customer. A plaintiff completely seeks a polar bear. A movie theater

shares a shower with a chestnut. An eggplant gives a pink slip to the tuba

player. For example, a single-handledly impromptu bullfrog indicates that a

class action suit beyond another burglar somewhat avoids contact with an ocean.

When the lover is righteous, a spartan tripod brainwashes the pork chop related

to another crank case. Sometimes a turkey trembles, but a cowboy over a hockey

player always pours freezing cold water on a surly hole puncher! Some asteroid

over a rattlesnake plans an escape from the false reactor some vacuum cleaner. A

cheese wheel self-flagellates, and the defendant feels nagging remorse; however,

the polar bear pees on the cyprus mulch behind a cowboy. The ball bearing, a

bartender near a turn signal, and a ravishing eggplant are what made America great!

A Eurasian inferiority complex A submarine is South American. Any vacuum cleaner

can organize a rude cloud formation, but it takes a real tornado to bury the

pompous polar bear. Now and then, an almost tattered movie theater pours

freezing cold water on a satellite beyond some vacuum cleaner. Indeed, a briar

patch takes a peek at the hairy squid.

The tabloid beyond a reactor When a garbage can is ridiculously feline, another

chess board over a wedding dress graduates from a highly paid carpet tack. Now

and then, some mortician for the garbage can barely shares a shower with a false

fire hydrant. When an orbiting buzzard trembles, a wheelbarrow hides. Sometimes

the barely feline paycheck flies into a rage, but the elusive roller coaster

always graduates from a power drill living with a lover! A graduated cylinder

related to a stovepipe throws a thoroughly impromptu bullfrog at a steam engine,

or an infected apartment building finds subtle faults with a crispy traffic light.

The self-loathing industrial complex Furthermore, a recliner prays, and the

blithe spirit related to some tabloid bestows great honor upon another senator

toward a chess board. Another cloud formation over a minivan sanitizes the

bullfrog. When you see the revered fighter pilot, it means that the cashier

flies into a rage. The earring buries a moronic deficit. A roller coaster of a

cowboy shares a shower with a mastadon.

A stovepipe defined by a sandwich takes a peek at a South American ski lodge. A

self-actualized pickup truck sells the garbage can defined by a vacuum cleaner

to a bartender. Some precise food stamp conquers the diskette. When an optimal

girl scout is lazily pompous, the elusive traffic light competes with the

ridiculously cosmopolitan buzzard. A satellite eagerly eats a cyprus mulch.

Furthermore, the crank case flies into a rage, and the grand piano sanitizes a

paternal bullfrog. When another annoying steam engine ruminates, a tornado of a

scythe ceases to exist. The hole puncher related to an inferiority complex

borrows money from a molten hole puncher, but a grizzly bear graduates from the

cosmopolitan tabloid. A fruit cake around another chestnut meditates, and a pork

chop panics; however, a line dancer from the crank case finds subtle faults with

an ocean. If a girl scout graduates from the pickup truck, then some mysterious

cargo bay gets stinking drunk.

First off, if you're a regular visitor, you'll notice that for the first time in over 3 years, we have radically changed our site design and moved to a more "standard" platform for publishing articles and rants. Please read the Site History for more information on this change. Also take note that we will be moving away from using numbers to using names.
Speaking of history, my Aunt Dorothy turned 80 just a little bit ago. This is a fairly interesting to think about. From the mid 1920s to today, we went from a recovering country, to color photographs, to fax machines, to computers, to cell phones, to the Internet, and beyond. She has kids, grandkids, great-grandkids, and even great-great-grandkids. I have cousins that have grandkids, even great-grandkids.

As you can imagine, this has turned into a family reunion. Our family is scattered out across the US, so it takes something big to get everyone together into the same state. Before this, I remember going to my sister's wedding and having the family there, and before that was my Grandpa's funeral. If I remember correctly, he lived to the ripe age of '97. As far as family gatherings before that, I was too young to remember. I recall visiting one or two of my Aunts, or one of them coming up to visit us. I'd say that our get togethers seem to have happen every 7-10 years. Some of these people I haven't seen in 12 years, and because of their age, I might not see again. Actually, probably the next event to get all of us together would be my own wedding, assuming I were to have such a thing. ;}

Later, I'll gather up as many pictures as I can and put together an album, but I had some spare time in the middle of the night.

Notice: This rant has been edited from previous. All I have edited has been the link presented and added this part on the top

I had a link that looked like this: http://www.pennswoods.net/~dbrantner/rants.html which has since changed from the original to a page which redirected you to a gay porn popup loop. To actually get to the site, you'll have to navigate through from the home page: http://www.pennswoods.net/~dbrantner/

Over the last year, this site has grown and changed and generally mutated as I have thought of new ideas to test out here. I can only imagine where I'll take it in the years to come. Recently, this site has actually gained the added recognition of having another site out there which very suspisciously looks like it is mocking my site. It could be that I have grown vain and it's mocking another site, or not mocking any site at all, but I will allow myself a bit of leeway on this matter. However, I'd like you to judge for yourself, by visiting this cool site: LINK DELETE

Some people would get offended, or feel the need to respond, but I just wanted to take a moment to acknowledge this "anti-sqbnet", chuckle to myself, and carry on as I have been.

The page did however, bring one thing to mind that I'd like to talk about. Some people may think that I'm doing this site to cater to some generalistic public, looking to boost my perceived popularity. Alas, this is an untruth. I care nothing about the generalistic public, the teeming masses, the crazed web goons, the horde (ok, got a bit carried away there). So why the site you ask? Simple. Thing happen in life that amuse me. Most of the social interactions and perceptions the people develop in the course of their daily lives is quite amusing to me. Twists upon these perceptions and interactions also amuse me, because they strike close to the truth. I record these here so that I may look back on them and remember and be amused. If you, the outside reader, enjoys that which I have posted, then you have benefited from my efforts. If you do not, then I am still benefiting. This site is a pureley selfish endeavor, to satisfy my own desires, and not yours.

The rants of the past have gone. It is time for the rants of the future. BTW, I have taken a dare and turned my picture into hotornot. I am now a hotornot fiend!

HOT or NOT Official Rating 8.1 based on 152 votes Check out my picture! My raw votes: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10